As with any free time, there come thoughts that wander, wonder and explore.  In this small town, life is small.  People operate on a daily basis defined as a community only at best and only on rare occasions.  The collective social nature of the town resides in bars; at random specialized gatherings; sport, music and art events.  People mingle together when it interests them individually.  Which brings me to this realization – people here prefer to think small, live small and keep things simply small and manageable.  Grandeur ambitions, rare.  Collective power, unexplored.  Life is simply lived.  To obtain a decent job to maintain oneself: good enough.  Laugh, enjoy the company of friends, have a good time when not working.  Small town, small life.  An easygoing, care-free, simply appealing lifestyle.  Content with that, very few are willing to push the boundaries, explore outside the comfort zone.  Simply satisfied here and now, unless a winning lottery ticket is chanced upon, life won’t get any more luxurious – and that’s alright.

Yet, there is something tickling at the back of my mind.  All the time.  My own little, restless, quiet conscience.  I am content, but at the same time my conscience is telling me there’s something else.  That most people are just content with themselves, and that’s the problem.  I don’t want to be part of the problem.  I have to realize and learn to accept responsibility for my potential.  Potential – everyone has it, to some extent.  Few know how to use it and most are afraid of it.  To admit that we have a responsibility and the potential as a person in this world to make a difference is a thought that many would prefer to simply not think about.  If we extend our knowledge and responsibilities beyond our immediate self there is a whole unexplored world out there – and that’s what scares people.  Most people have difficulties handling the responsibilities of maintaining a lifetime mate, or a dependent family.  So it’s decided that, in order to be able to handle having the world on our shoulders without suffering a nervous breakdown, simply pretend it’s not our responsibility.  Plead ignorance.  Amidst this blindness comes initial fear, until that blindness is accepted as the safe barrier separating us from the rest of the turmoil.  Our own chosen blindfold.  But there’s no changing the fact that the world contains people and animals living lives vastly different from our own.  To what extent can we and do we impact them?  No matter, as long as we are content with our small life, don’t rock the boat.

But my conscience.  It crops up when the humanitarian inside witnesses the injustices of the world. Wars depicted in movies, misfortunate lifestyles depicted on television, animal cruelty in newspapers, and every single other injustice broadcasted on the internet.  It’s everywhere, so how can we be blind?  Am I the only one who is not hardened and insensitive towards conscience-bothering thoughts?  Dulled to witnessing the saddening act of taking the life of another human being?  Thinking deeply means feeling deeply.  Submersing oneself into the lives and experiences of others opens up the uncontrollable possibility of feeling their pain.  Why feel others’ pain, when we don’t even wish to feel our own?  Because it’s real.  It is happening – if the blindfold were gone, we would be vulnerable.  Scared little children, drowning in a sea of misery and misfortune, but at the same time, experiencing overwhelming joy and humanity.  We would be naked, unable to control what could happen and how it would affect us.  We would no longer be in control of ourselves.  But control is merely a state of mind, anyways; an impression upon our lives.  Giving up the illusion of control will open up the possibility of growth.  To grow larger than just ourselves, larger than our small lives.

If we are fortunate enough to grow, we can choose to gain greater responsibilities.  We can choose not to support the animal cruelties evident in slaughterhouses everywhere.  That we are in fact responsible for it, as eating is a part of everyone’s life.  To be simply content though, would mean to not think about the injustices we are doing nothing about, and actually, are supporting.  The orphans in Africa are on a distant world – not directly relevant to our content little lives.  To accept responsibility for their problems and admit that there is something we can do would lead to the discomfort of knowing that life is not wholly content anymore.  So we shirk responsibility because it’s easier to simply continue living our comfortable and blindfolded little lives.

But my conscience.  I don’t want to not feel it when another’s life takes a turn for the worse.  Where’s the line between being hardened towards the misfortunes of characters portrayed through media; the people surviving on other continents; and the lives of loved ones closest to us.  How long until self containment becomes our life.  How sad would that be.  A world full of individuals, each with something different to offer, and no one willing to take the chance and explore others lives.  No one willing to risk the possibility of disturbing their simple contentment.  Interacting sure, but not caring beyond the superficial.  It’s not simply diversity acceptance, but acknowledgement; experiencing; and feeling the emotions of others that will allow us to live not only our own lives to the fullest, but will give us the rare opportunity of experiencing life through others as well.  Suddenly, the small town, small life mentality is blown away.  Life is truly being felt – laughter, tears, heart-wrenching sympathetic compassion, and fulfillment beyond anything ever achievable on our own.  A chance to explore our full potential is given.  To see if we can face anything in this whole, wide world – not just our own small world – with compassion.  As the well known saying goes: “Grant me the power to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change what can be changed, and the wisdom to know the difference”.   Long live courage and compassion!